Devon on December 27th, 2009

The week before Christmas was miserable for me. Let me explain. I have now realized that almost 90% of your christmas spirit comes from decorations and friends/family — all things I did not have around me. Because I am newly on my own, I don’t have any Christmas decorations — in fact, the only thing I had was 1 Christmas card from my grandparents. As for the friends/family, my close, close, group of friends are now living all over the world. The closest friend/family is a three hour drive from me. In my mind, I kept thinking about what I had last year at this time — before the “divorce.” With all this in my mind, I was in a real melancholy state. Now you have the context, here are the events that pushed me over the edge.

The weekend before Christmas my mom came to visit. We had a fantastic time, then she went home. You know that feeling of when you have to say, “Goodbye” — then the rest of the day just feels empty and quiet? Yeah — empty, quiet, and alone. Now the events of the week — I got really bad news from a close friend, could not sleep all week, my eyes were always red/puffy so I used my old eye drops that I now discovered have a side effect of dilating eyes (party of self-conscious +1), badly burnt my tongue, found a dent (looks like it is from a rogue shopping cart) on my car, bashed my shin into my platform bed (so hard it bled and bruised), I got two (yes, two) canker sores, my face broke out, I still hate my hair cut (and can tell I am losing/getting gray hair — which is adding to the self-consciousness), and was forcing myself to “keep it together” because I still had work everyday.

When I finally got home to my mom’s on Christmas Eve (after a long three hour drive), I walked through the door and said “Hi” and busted out crying. I just could not keep it in anymore. We sat around and talked for a few hours. My mom said it best, I had the holiday blues. I’m so used to being around people. When I was in a relationship I was always around someone, when that ended I was always around my mom, then I went traveling — always around people. Now, I go to work and come home to an empty apartment — it is really starting to get to me. Yes, now and then I get together with old friends — but it is only once in a blue moon.

(Side note: If you know me, while I was writing this blog, my mom’s cat (Chloe) just attacked Salem, and I unknowingly yelled, “Morgan, stop!” — sigh). Anyways, enough blubbering.

Christmas Day, I felt slightly better (still kinda down, but I finally got over 5 hours of sleep). My mom and I opened gifts. I got furniture, home decorations, kitchen supplies, and a 40″ flat screen TV (TV has been my closeted friend in Dallas; it talks to me and always has interesting topics to entertain me — yeah, i’m anthropomorphizing my TV, that’s how looney I have been). I got my mom a new Blue-ray DVD player that also streams Blockbuster and Netflix video on demand. I helped her set that up and for the rest of the day we watched movies. It was a perfect gift for her. She loves movies. Now with the Netflix VOD, she can watch unlimited movies anytime she wants all for only $9 a month — perfect. We have already watched 5 movies.

Saturday I got a full night sleep. My mom and I have been running around catching the sales, mainly window shopping. Sunday, I am going to go visit some old college friends. Monday my mom and I are going down to Houston to shop and see my best friend at the hospital (I have not seen her in over two months — since she went in for her transplant). Tuesday, I am going to the doctor to get the burn on my tongue checked out and get a general checkup. Then I will head back up to Dallas — I have work on Wednesday.

For New Years, Pam and Briana invited me to a New Year’s party they are going to in Denton — now I have something to look forward to. My next post will be around New Years. It will include my new year’s resolutions, how I plan on making friends in Dallas, and just a small blurb on my fantastic job (I told you I would never write about my jobs on my blog — but because everyone keeps asking me about it, I will write a small general description). I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas/Happy Holidays!

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One Response to “Merry Christmas”

  1. I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT NEW YEARS! The Tacky Sweater party is the 30th…what’re you doing for the 31st?

    ALSO, I didn’t realize you came home for Christmas. I have a gift for you and would have given it to you then, but guess I’ll give it to you when I see you on Wednesday! Would you want to carpool?

    Anyways, all this is filler to say that you are amazing and I’m always just a phone call (or short drive, hehe) away!

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